The Potty Whistle

You know… no one ever tells you when you’re pregnant that your days of privacy in the bathroom are OVER.   Yep… it was the one thing that no one shared with me.  Of course NO ONE held back telling me their labor horror stories.  And I’ll bet I heard a thousand stories about all the cute things their kids did.  But, I never once heard that I would NEVER be able to go to the bathroom in peace again for the rest of my life!!! 

I’ve often wondered why my kids need me the exact minute that I walk into the bathroom.  From the time they could walk, I could go into the bathroom and they would either follow me in there or scream for me from down the hall.  And, the older they got, the more apparent it became that there was some innate,  built-in mechanism that let them know the exact moment that my fanny hit the potty.  Even when Britt went off to college, she still knew when I went to the bathroom.  I can remember going into the bathroom in Target and having the phone ring FROM ATHENS the second I sat down in the stall. 

So, after giving this A LOT of thought over the years, I think I finally figured it out.  There must be an alarm that sounds whenever a mom’s butt hits the potty.  It is similar to a dog whistle.  It’s a high pitched sound that only your kids can hear.  Yep, I  truly believe that there is really such a thing as the potty whistle.  Every time a mom goes into the bathroom,  their kids are alerted via a silent high pitched whistle to let them know that their mom has pulled herself away from the madness that is her household and is trying to take a 5 second break.

 I haven’t quite figured out whether the potty whistle is actually built into the mom or if this just a cruel joke from the toilet manufacturers.  To be perfectly honest, I don’t have time to figure that out because I don’t have 5 seconds to complete a thought process anyway.   But, one thing I know for sure, there’s a phone whistle too.  So either all these manufacturers got together and shared the technology (highly unlikely)  or this functionality is built into our kids in the womb.    And that would mean that God gets a good  chuckle every time a whistle goes off!  So, the older we get, the more he chuckles… Just saying…